That said, I think I am fairly eclectic when it comes to names. I love traditional names, unusual names, trendy names, literary names, nature names . . . you name it. The only things that really get my dander up are made up names and misspelled names. I do think, however, that certain naming “rules” or “guidelines” can be helpful.
Rule #1: Choose a Name You Will Cherish
This is by far the most important thing. You will say this name a bajillion times a day for the rest of your life. Pick one you and your significant other really love and will enjoy saying . . . over and over again.
Rule #2: Consider Your Child
Remember, your child is the one who is really going to have to live with the name you choose, so think about how it will affect them. Ask yourself these questions. Are there any unfortunate nicknames that come with this name? Will the odd pronunciation/ spelling of this name negatively affect my child? Are there any negative connotations to this name? Will my child enjoy having this name? Is this name gender-appropriate? Will this name age with my child? It is no fun going through life with a name that is a source of teasing or negative assumptions.
Rule #3: Meditate On Meaning
Please don’t make up a name. Please. Please. Don’t. Names are expressions of culture and language. Don’t labor under the delusion that just because you decide to call your child something awesome like “MyAnna” that makes it a name. The world is literally full of beautiful, wonderful names. There is no need to make one up. Part of the joy of naming another human being is giving them a name of substance, a name that means something. Did you know that the name Calvin means “bald?” How about that the name Ethan means “strong?” Whereas something like “MaShon” or “Jennavecia” mean . . . nothing . . . I am not saying rule out all names that don’t have a great meaning, however, if you are stuck between two or three, this could be a deciding factor. Oh, and in case you are wondering, in a baby name book, the origin “American” is code for “made-up.”
Rule #4: Say it With Your Surname
Avoid names that sound “rhymey” or comical with your last name. Sally is a wonderful name; paired with O’Malley, not so much. If your last name is Bush, don’t name your daughter Rose.
Rule #5: Specify a Spelling
This is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves about naming. Please don’t give your child’s name a youneek spelling. Caitlin, Marcus, and Samantha are lovely names; Kaytlynne, Marquis, and Symanthe are ridiculous. I am all for uncommon but LEGITIMATE spellings of names—Madeleine, Sofia, Jakob—particularly if they have cultural or family significance to you. However, made up spellings make things difficult for the child and make the parents look unsophisticated and attention-seeking.
Rule #6: Contemplate Connotations
Names come with certain connotations, right or wrong, be they racial, gender, age or personality stereotypes. Tiffany and Whitney sound like blonde cheerleaders (or 80s singers). Winston and Sheldon are quintessential nerd-names. Betty, Jennifer, and Madison all convey specific generations. Atticus, Clementine, Sukey? Hello, hipster. You get the idea. Most connotations are not negative—stay away from Adolph or Osama—but you should think about how others may perceive a certain name, and whether or not that perception bothers you. If you are not sure about the positive or negative associations of a name, google it or ask your friends.
Rule #7: Middle Names Matter
This is strictly a matter of taste—ok, I guess all my rules are a matter of taste . . . I, personally, am of the opinion that middle names should mean something, more so than a first name. My kid’s middle names are after honored family members. Some of the names I don’t particularly care for (thus, why they are not first names) but I wanted to honor that particular person. I have seen others choose a middle name that is significant for some other reason: the name of the town where mom and dad met, a character from a favorite book, a virtue they wish their child to develop. The middle name is a place you can afford to break a few rules and be creative.
Rule #8: Don’t Ignore the Initials
Once you think you have decided on a first name and middle name, write out the initials. Most will be fine, but you don’t want initials that spell words or make acronyms: Andrew Samuel Smith, Erin Anne Richards, Katherine Kay King, Luke Oliver Lawrence. . . lol.
Rule #9: Track the Trends
This is another one that won’t bother the majority of people—obviously, or there wouldn’t be naming trends to begin with. I, for one, dislike overly trendy names but I wouldn’t necessarily let it dissuade me if I really loved the name. We all know that certain names really take off in a particular generation. How many little old ladies and men do you know that are named Betty or John? How many people born in the 80s were named Jennifer or Ryan? Currently, there are glut of Madisons, Olivias, Isabellas, Jacobs, and Liams. If it will bother you that your child will have three other kids with the same name in their class, think about a different name.
For some great name websites, see:
http://nameberry.com/
http://www.behindthename.com/
http://www.nymbler.com/
http://www.babynamewizard.com/
http://www.ssa.gov/oact/babynames/
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